I was recently asked this question and I had to pause a bit to think of an answer. Honestly, it was a very good question, but it hit much deeper than just spitting out a number. Naturally, I want to avoid being the “old dude in the club”, so this really made me question whether, at 34, I’m too old for the club scene. We all know who that one brother in the club from another generation. Never be this dude.

          Anyways, I think we must start at why people go to clubs in the first place. Women definitely go to unwind, dress up, and dance with their friends. Nothing wrong with that. Fellas on the other hand? Well, in a world of hyper masculinity and enormous egos, fellas typically go clubbing for the ladies. I don’t think any of my guy friends have ever said, “Mike, lets go to the club to dance”. If you go in most clubs you’ll typically see most of the guys congregate around the bar or the exit. I call it the kill zone. Women know this area! It’s the “Hey Lil Mama” zone. Every so often you’ll see a guy dancing with a woman, but it’s not exactly the norm. Some guys are there to have fun, but 92% of the time they are there for the women.

          So we know why people are going to clubs. Let’s talk about clubbing age restrictions. I’ve long thought if I was pushing 40, I shouldn’t still be clubbing. I figured by that time my interests would have changed and I would have sat down and gotten a consistent woman I can spend quality life moments with. I’ve lowered that number to 30 based on a recent experience. I went to a club and was super bored. I’m talking just sitting there miserable bored. Yes, the crowd energy was great and the DJ had a good mix going, but I just felt like I had passed this era in my life. You know it’s bad when the old school mix isn’t the songs from the 70s and 80s anymore but are from the late 90s and early 2000s. Those were my 20s y’all!

           There has to be more to life on a Friday or Saturday night. Like being cuddled up with a significant other, binge watching a Netflix show while eating ice cream or at home with significant other playing Twister. Notice I said significant other twice? There was a reason for that. Now I know the fellas will clown me for wanting to be booed up, but no one wants to grow old alone. Men typically decide we will settle down in our 30s. It’s the time to stop the player ways and build something lasting. It’s also the time we are first aware that we could die one day and we better leave some kind of legacy behind. The only way to truly be immortal is to leave lasting memories. 

            So to answer the question of my friend, the answer varies. It’s situational and depends on the thought process of the person. Some men value a meaningful relationship and some love the chase. Some want to build an empire while others just want to live like it’s the last day on earth. Some men see marriage as a good thing while some see it as a hindrance or a death sentence. So I don’t know. I can’t give a broad generalized response. It’s totally up to each man to make that decision when he feels it’s necessary.

           As for me, once I saw all those 20 something’s in the club not knowing any of the music in the 90s and 2000s “old school mix”, I knew it was time to take my ass home. I knew at that moment, it was time to live life and build memories with someone. I’m not immortal and I will never actually find much meaningful in a club. Y’all can have them clubs. The drinks are overpriced anyways.


Life is for Living,

Michael B.