5 Reasons You Weren't Invited to the Family 4th of July Party

           Your family has big 4th of July plans. There will be BBQ, plenty of laughter, spades or dominos, festive outfits and of course fireworks. There's one thing missing; you haven't received an invitation yet. It could be a slip up or an implied invitation because it's family. Maybe they don't really want you there. Before you crash the BBQ or get in your feels, consider these reasons why you didn't receive that invite. 

1. You drink too much

         We all know that one person that can't handle their alcohol. They either get extremely loud, overly aggressive or end up passed out in the kiddy pool. You gotta know your limit and stay well below it. No one wants to babysit your drunk ass. Plus throwing up in front of Grandma is grounds for family eviction. Get help or a damn good wing person to slow you down. 

2. You show up empty handed, but leave with plates.  

          I have an uncle who never ever brings anything to the BBQ, but always takes to go plates. Don't be like my uncle; who never gets invited yet always shows up anyways. Bring something! A bag of ice is the least you can do. It takes nothing to bring a couple sodas or hot dog buns. If you don't put in on this, you can't leave with anything. Simple.  

3. You Have Weird Food Preferences

          Yeah, we get it. You're Vegan, vegetarian, or on some other food restrictive diet. We totally understand it, but this menu ain't changing for you. Stop bringing your weird dishes trying to force everyone to try them. No cauliflower covered in buffalo sauce doesn't taste just like hot wings. We love you, but we kinda feel like you're judging us for eating BBQ. Not cool.    

4. Your Kids are Bad as Hell

          This one might be a hard pill to swallow for some parents, but sometimes people just don't like your kids. You might think little Timmy is a little angel, but everyone else sees the little devil he is. Kids that break things, smell really weird, and that fight everyone else's kids aren't welcome fam. Your kids need to have home training and a proper bath before coming to a family function. If your kids have silver teeth, just assume they aren't invited. You good, just leave that kid at home. 

5. You're a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer  

          No one wants a person around someone that's always negative or that's always in their feels. Bish don't kill my vibe. Don't come around raining on people's parades because your life isn't where you want it to be. Be positive and supportive of family and friends or stay your negative ass at home. If you're always sad at the function, people will naturally try to avoid you. So what you aren't married yet. Yes, we know you're unemployed, but none of that matters. No one really cares if you're having money troubles. We are all trying to enjoy our day off and family. Check those feels at the door. 


         Any of these remind you of yourself? It's never too late to make some changes and family will welcome you back regardless. That's what family is all about. We love you in spite of. What other reasons are there why someone wouldn't be invited to the family function? Drop a comment. Don't forget to like and subscribe to the blog for more updates!  

Life is for Living, 

Michael B.  


It’s Festival Season!

           Spring in Memphis is amazing and it’s the best time to be in Memphis! Why? Because it’s the start of festival season! The weather is usually nice and every weekend until late summer and early fall, there will be a different festival each weekend. Sometimes you get two in one weekend. It starts off this weekend with the Memphis Brewfest, which happens to be one of my favorites, and followed by the The Rajun Cajun Crawfish Fest. 

             For those that say there's nothing to do in Memphis, you're so wrong! Every weekend there is something to do. It's all about whether you actually want to do anything or just complain. As for me; the plan is to go to each festival in the city. Pray for me. Here's a list of upcoming festivals. Memphis Brewfest date is wrong. It's actually 4/14/18. 


             Here you go! Now get out there and enjoy the Bluff City's festival season. If you see me, come speak!  

Life is for Living, 

Michael B.  

What Not to Get A Woman For Valentine's Day

I recently wrote a blog post helping women with buying a Valentine's Day gift for men. If you haven't checked it out, click this LINK. I was fully prepared to write a post to help the fellas out, but something odd happened. No something amazingly bad happened. I polled over 40 women to see what were some of the best and worst Valentine's Day gifts they've received. The responses totally changed the whole blog post! Instead of telling you what to get, I'm now going to tell you what NOT to get. There's a catch! I will use the quotes of the ladies I polled. Why? Because you should be listening to the ladies anyways. 

Worst gift I ever got was a typical last minute grocery store flowers and box of chocolates
The worst gift I got was an empty card. He didn’t even sign his name.
Workout gear
Familiar dick
Empty card
Teddy Bear. Leave those for the high school kids.
Flowers from Krogers and he didn’t know what kind of flowers they were.
I’ve never gotten a Valentine’s Day gift.
No gift at all.
A box of “what the hell are in these” chocolates.
Pots and pans set. It was a nice ass set, but who wants a damn US gift for V Day?
I got money...... yeah.
Anything I have to plan or execute. A coupon for a set of free hugs and shit. Nobody got time for that nonsense.
The worst gifts are gifts that show you don’t know me at all. I got white cake and I don’t eat white cake so it was a slap in the face.
cheesy Valentine’s Day teddy bear.
roses, chocolate, and giant obnoxious stuffed animals for adults. How fucking unoriginal!
Something he purchased an ex before me.
Cheap perfume that gave me a rash.
A 3D thing with a picture of him in it. Conceited much?
Bathroom renovation
Something I bought myself and he called it a gift since we shared a bank account.....
Permission to buy a drum set with my own money. Was told this via a 70s ass looking yellowed card from a tiny grocery store around the corner.
A book on coin magic that he told me HE wanted a few weeks earlier.
I got an Edible Arrangement exactly like the one he sent his mother with the same exact note!
A cheap ass off brand foot massager from the “quick gifts” section at Wal-Mart. It had to be $20 or less. It didn’t massage worth a damn and died after a few weeks.
A hideous, giant red stuffed alligator with a cheap bath product basket. We went out once and I didn’t even like the guy. He left it on my doorstep.
A huge card asking me to be their girlfriend on a first date.
A bunch of candy and condoms.
A phone call saying Happy Valentine’s Day
A text that he overslept.

Ok, I had to stop the assault. It got way worse. Needless to say, fellas we have do better. DON'T DO WHAT THESE GUYS DID!! Put some thought into this and you will be rewarded handsomely. You have 7 days! Really you only have about 3. I will give you a quick pro tip. Women don't always want something big and flashy. The consensus is the ladies just want something thoughtful and intimate. A dinner at a nice restaurant (NO CHAIN RESTAURANTS) or a dinner prepared by you at home. The one response I got that I thought was absolutely awesome; "My child's father gave me a week off from being a mother. He took care of the kid while I got needed rest." See, that doesn't take much effort guys. Also, write something in the damn card! 


Life is For Living,

Michael B.


5 Things Guys Actually Want For Valentine's Day

      So it's almost Valentine's Day and you're trying to decide what to get that special guy in your life. You're probably thinking, "Oh he really needs this" or " He could really use that". STOP!! No one wants what they need as a gift. Women tend to buy men what they need and not what we actually want. A woman wouldn't want a vacuum cleaner or an oil change as a gift and us fellas don't want a tie or socks either. Well, we kinda like socks just not basic black or white ones. In my experience, I've rarely gotten anything from a woman that I truly wanted unless I specifically told her what to get. So here's my guide to help you ladies out!  

  Disclaimer: SEX IS NOT A GIFT!!!


DJI Mavic Air

DJI Mavic Air

Yes! We love drones! Guys love gadgets in general and with the weather about to turn warmer, a drone is pretty much at the top of most guy's lists. I have one and I love it! They come in all price ranges as well, so they are budget friendly. My pick would be the DJI Mavic Air. Check it out HERE.

Also, if a drone is out of your budget, a radio controlled plane or car is a great alternative. 

Smart Speaker



What guy doesn't like music? Dump him if he doesn't. What's cooler than just playing music? Well, telling the speaker to play music lol. Not only that, a smart speaker can turn on lights, control a thermostat, send a text, and even order a pizza. Pretty cool, right? I've tried them all and I love the sound quality of the Sonos, but love the functionality of the Amazon Echo. 

Cool Socks 

trendy socks.jpg

Yes socks made the list! Not those plain and boring pack of socks. No one wants the socks our dads wore. Well, dad wore pretty cool socks, but I assume my mom played a huge part in that. Help your man out and step up his fashion game with some cool socks. Don't know what socks to get? Here's a pro guy tip. Socks should match the shirt. Go check his closet out and see what colors he normally wears and get matching socks. Simple. 



Yes, this could classify as a need as well, but a guy might not know he wants one. I tend to misplace my keys and wallet. I have been late to countless things because I'm tearing up my apartment in search of my wallet or keys. I was given a Tile and it's changed my life! Using the app, I can pinpoint where my wallet or keys are and it even plays a sound to navigate you directly to the lost object. Another killer feature is the Tile will also find the connected phone if you misplace it! Trust me, this is a great gift for the forgetful man. It just won't help him remember your anniversary though. I'm no miracle worker. 

Smart Watch


Hey look another smart item! Get the theme? Smart watches have come a very very long way. They aren't just for nerds who wanted a calculator on their wrist. Smart watches do so much more and are very stylish now. Watches are a must have accessory for a stylish fella and you can't really go wrong with a nice watch. Now that smart watches come with a variety of band and bezel options, a guy can finally get emails, listen to music, send messages, get directions, and update his calendar while being swagged out. My pick would be the Apple Watch. It's pretty much in a class of it's own. 

So here's a starting point! Don't buy guys another sad gift! We will accept it, but on the inside we are crying for something cool. Trust me, we love gifts just as much as you do. We just want the things we actually want. Does your guy have things currently that are on the list? Well, you could always get him basketball tickets, a jersey of his favorite player, a nice pair of shoes, or even a pocket knife. The ideas are endless, but you have to put the same thought into our gifts as you want us to put into yours. 

Have any other ideas or thoughts? Drop a comment! Don't forget to like or share this post!

Life is for Living,

Michael B.